Jakarta

Picture me on the dance floor wearing a pure wool suit. Outside, it’s 31 degrees. I’m dancing to ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’ with this girl who I thought was my age but turns out to be 30. Behind me I have my mother, grandmother and some assorted uncles and aunties watching my back. It’s hot, a little awkward and slightly uncomfortable. But I’m feeling strangely fine and I’m having a good time.

This pretty much sums up my trip to Indonesia.

Jakarta is a craphole of a city and besides the food, truth be told, I didn’t really want to go back.

It took us over two hours to get to the hotel from the airport. A ride that shouldn’t ever take more than 45 minutes. We go through four tollways along the way.

Jakarta is about the only city I’ve heard of that has five cars driving abreast on a three-lane road and every driveway you come in and out of has some ‘parking officer’ asking for money. The traffic along the freeways are so slow that there are kids walking between the cars and bikes and bajajs, selling cigarettes and deep-fried tofu. Or tofu and deep-fried cigarettes. I can’t remember which. The streets are so filthy and poverty-stricken that you might actually hear someone say ‘Let’s go inside for some fresh air’ or some Indonesian equivalent.

But let’s face it, I don’t live any of this. None of my family do. We look out into the filth from windows of air-conditioned buildings. We’re driven from these air-conditioned buildings to other air-conditioned buildings in air-conditioned cars by paid drivers. We have maids. What accentuates the poverty in this place is the fact that my usually working class Australian arse gets a chance to be wiped with gold-gilded toilet paper for once and the feeling is rather jarring.

I went on this trip for my cousin’s wedding. I went mostly because I wanted to see some of these people again that haven’t seen me since before I reached puberty. I wanted to experience a big-arse 1100-guest Indonesian wedding at Jakarta’s Grand Hyatt while hopefully dodging any potential bombings that may come.

The wedding was nice and fun. But so was the city itself. So was trying to speak the best Indonesian I knew how (and not the mish mash baby babble I speak at home). I basked myself in the overpriced luxuries that Jakarta offers to its high and mighty. I was amused that everywhere I went, there was at least a 3:1 employee to customer ratio.

Jakarta is the epitome of inefficiency. At this one food court, you first have to buy coupons, then take the coupons to get your food. You then get your change back in coupon form which you have to convert back to money at the coupon counter. To add to that, there are four people manning each coupon counter while each counter can only serve one customer at a time. So I guess that’s one person to make the transaction, one to collate the money and a third to stamp the coupons with the current date. The Fourth, I suppose, is the designated nose-picker. Or the one that shrugs whenever you ask them a question and the other three are too busy to respond. They must do a rotation.

After lunch, when you decide to go shopping, you’ll be followed around the stores by someone holding three or four options of what you might like to buy. When you finally find a shirt you like on the rack (which is probably NOT one of the three or four options presented to you) you’ll ask where the change room is, only to be directed to someone else who’ll know where whoever it is that’s manning the change rooms is. After you decide to buy it, someone will take the shirt off you and direct you to a counter where you will pay for the item. You will then be given a coupon which you will take to another counter where you can pick up the goods.

What’s not to love about that?

I suppose a third-world country of 200 million people has to provide jobs to its citizens somehow.

Places I liked
Pondok Laguna: One of the best restaurants I’ve ever been to. Mostly seafood and other assorted Indonesian dishes. If they opened one here, they’d make an absolute killing.
Blowfish: A trendy bar/nightspot with the best views you can get in Jakarta.
Kelapa Gading: There’s a huge mall there with many stores yet to open. Also has an eat street much like Singapore’s Clarke Quay and Boat Quay, except it’s facing a sewer pipe instead of open water. It’s still nice though.

__________

Singapore

Nothing much to report here. Always nice. The highlight, I suppose, was going clubbing and then finishing off the night with grilled sting ray and satays at Newton’s Hawker’s Centre at around 3am.

Places I liked
Zouk: Their world-famous nightclub.
Newton Hawker’s Centre: Went there twice. Fresh seafood cooked right in front of you. Plus other stuff. You should see the size of these tiger prawns!

Our empty wonderland

Hung up the telephone
Said our goodbye
Fall back to sleep tonight
But with eyes open you lie

Showed you a new mountain
Took away your hope
Gave you a new burden
Then let go of the rope

I know you don’t know the score
I know you’ve never been here before

Just work up a smile
Empty your mind
Don’t try to fight
Tomorrow will be bright
Just close your eyes
Take hold of my hand
Turn down the light
By dawn, we’ll be alright

Turn off the taps
Reverse the blood’s flow
Wear your new glasses
It’s already tomorrow

Yawn to your troubles
It’s not overflowing
Just look to the rooster
That’s where you’ll be going

I know there are things that you’ll miss
This isn’t a lesson, it just is

Just walk down a mile
Head up in the sky
Don’t lose sight
Leave that for another night
Just close your eyes
A new world waits
Forget what might
We’re here, we’ll be alright

We’ll sing and dance
We’ll start a band
Anything has a chance
In our empty wonderland

Happiness in a cup

I have a crush on the Happy Cup girl at my train station. She gives me a cup and it makes me happy. And she only charges me $3.00 plus an extra 50c if I want pearls with it.

I’ve been there twice now. And she’s very slow. But she’s also very nice. She can take up to 5 minutes just making one drink. But I suppose that’s 5 minutes well-spent. I don’t know how she manages during peak hours though.

She’s pretty, she feeds me and she speaks English well. What more can I want, really?

I guess it’s pretty early in our relationship at the moment to tell anything. Maybe eventually she’ll get to know me so well that she won’t even have to ask anymore if I want pearls. She’ll just know. Then we’ll work on our names.

Then we’d really be getting somewhere.

xtn according to Emode

As you can see, I went nuts with Emode. I shall never do this again.


- Your belief system is best suited to religions that value salvation from sin

Your score shows that you share core beliefs with religions that offer to deliver you from sin or save you from evil.

Some religions assert that all people are born with original sin and must seek salvation. They also maintain that a savior has come to save humankind and that you can find salvation by accepting this as the truth. You are attracted to spiritual groups that believe salvation is possible and encourage you along that path.


- Your IQ score is 129

During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is a Facts Curator.

This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.


- Your subconscious mind is driven most by Peace

You have a deeply-rooted desire to make peace in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with loved ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to be able to influence the world in a positive way.

You have a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it, and you inspire others to feel the same way. Your innate drive toward peace guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.


- Your true talent is verbal ability

You seem to know how to pick the right words for almost every occasion. Beyond your ability to interpret information and articulate your points, you appear to understand the power and aesthetic appeal behind language. Your verbal knowledge can make you versatile in expressing yourself. And your skills in this arena also allow you to pick up subtle meanings behind what people say.


- Your Emotional IQ is 112.

So, where are you most emotionally smart? Your test results show that your strongest suit is perception — your ability to pick up on what others are feeling.

Because of this, you are unusually good at reading people's verbal and non-verbal cues. You're especially aware of the subtleties of people's actions, and can feel out the vibe of a situation better than many. That gives you and edge many wish they had. People with high perception skills like yours, however, tend to rely on them to the exclusion of others. As a result, they sometimes have underdeveloped abilities in other realms of critical emotional intelligence like managing emotions, empathy, and being expressive.


- You're a Rock Star!

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Rock Star which means you are a Success / Seeker. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics.

That means you crave attention, the limelight, and the fawning admiration of millions. Chances are you have a bevy of fans and friends, and you like knowing how much others appreciate you. On top of this, you're a go-getter and you really shine under pressure.


- When it comes to psychic abilities, you have an unusually strong talent in the area of Retrocognition

This means you have an uncanny ability to look into the past at events that perhaps you had no part in and actually see what happened. This may happen with someone you are close to where you just know that for example, their father was too strict or that they were picked on in school. Perhaps you can even imagine the actual setting in which it happened. Oftentimes these imaginings are more than something your mind "made-up." What you are witnessing is actually true.

This is a highly valuable skill that can be used in any social setting to help to understand the people you are dealing with or aspects of the actual physical setting you happen to find yourself in. For instance, say you are in-between buying one of two houses and you apply your gift to learn that one property has a history of positive experiences and the other was a former battleground. For the sake of wanting to live on a property with more positive energy, you may then choose to buy the house with the more positive psychic history.


- You're a Type 2 - The Humanitarian

Friends, family, and colleagues probably appreciate your caring and generous nature. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you'll usually offer a shoulder to cry on and unparalleled compassion. As a Humanitarian, you're likely to be seen as a loving and helpful person with a kind heart.

Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Mother Teresa, with her tireless devotion to aid the sick and destitute members of society, and Bishop Desmond Tutu, with his emphasis on nonviolent protest against racial injustices, are also Type 2s

This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of empathy for other people. In fact, you're the kind of warm, sincere person who can be uniquely capable of seeing the good in others.


- You're happier than 48 percent of the other people who took Emode's Happiness Test.

Your test results show that your relationships help you feel happier overall. This means that you often find joy in the people who make up your support network. You may also tend to gravitate toward communities that mirror your values. Because you ordinarily feel comfortable relating to other people, you can gain a real sense of belonging and connection.


- You are Balanced-brained

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.


- Your destiny is to be a Provider

Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As a Provider, you have a genuine nurturing concern for the welfare of others and you're eager to serve them. You can recognize exactly what people need and your friendly, helpful, social nature makes them feel comforted. With your kind and generous heart, you are personable, talkative, and outward with your emotions, and your openness and sensitivity makes you concerned about the way others view you. Along these lines, be careful not to blame yourself when things go wrong. You cannot prevent bad things from happening, even though your tendency to be orderly with a strong sense of right and wrong may lead you to believe you can. Accept that you do what you can to take care of things and that this will get you far in the world. Bill Clinton, Mary Tyler Moore, and Sally Field are also Providers.


- Your career personality type is ESFP

That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you are well-balanced and place equal importance on work as on your personal life. You are dedicated to maintaining a level of culture in your life and therefore won't sacrifice interesting work for high pay.

With your high energy and chameleon-like adaptabilities, you seek work that is fast-paced and ever-changing. Working directly with people provides you with that outlet. On top of it, you have an uncanny ability to keep peace and maintain a level of serenity and happiness in your environment. If emotions flare up in the room, people look to you to pull out a story or joke that deflates the tension.

You prefer to live in the moment and appreciate what life and work offer now. The future is unknowable and does not draw you in like the present. Part of your easy-going outlook toward the future has to do with knowing that you can adapt to whatever comes your way.

The reason employers and recruiters might be on the lookout for you is that only about 8% of the U.S. population shares the unique characteristics of your personality type. Research shows that businesses succeed when employers create a good balance of personality types in the office. And since only 8% of the U.S. population shares your type, that means employers are looking for you.


- Your values help make you a Privacy Guardian

Even when left alone with someone's most valuable secrets, you appear to be one of those rare people who could forego the opportunity to snoop. Because you're one who usually places a high value on privacy — yours as well as other people's — you're someone who can ordinarily be trusted not to let the skeletons out of other people's closets. Because you like to keep your business to yourself and prefer that others do the same, you're not likely to become embroiled in others' battles or concerns. You're more apt to feel that it's better to focus on your own actions and welfare, rather than face the potential consequences of meddling.

The values types you're most likely to click with — whether in business relationships or in love — are those types that most closely resemble your own set of values. As a result, people with the same type are usually the most compatible. But besides being with another Privacy Guardian, the two types that you most closely match with are Loyal Rebel and Resourceful Independent.


- In the last year you've earned 716 karma points

You've earned these points by doing good things, therefore allowing good things to circle back to you. There are 6 different ways people earn karma, and by looking at your responses to this test, we can tell that your caring nature is earning you the most karma.

You seem to be one of those people who has an uncanny ability to anticipate and meet the needs of others around you. This nurturing quality has helped you earn your karma up to this point. Your thoughtfulness strengthens your current relationships, and suggests that such kindnesses will be repaid to you some time in the future. Through your concerted efforts to express how much you care, you generate good karma for yourself and the universe.


- Freud would say your strongest unconscious conflict stems from events that happened when you were a Toddler.

He would also conclude that relative to others, your personality today is moderately affected by the events of your childhood. It appears that your biggest unconscious conflict that still afflicts you stems from what Freud defined as the anal stage of development that occurred when you were between a year and a half and three years old. Freud would say that this conflict can manifest in your personality by giving you a tendency to be especially orderly or clean, or "retentive." You may also harbor a strong rebellious streak. This normally happens when parents toilet-train a child on some kind of schedule, rather than at the child's natural pace and the child naturally reacts by struggling for their autonomy and the legitimacy of their needs.

Freud defined five psychosexual developmental stages that everyone goes through on their way from infancy to adolescence. And each of those stages is associated with adult personality traits. At each stage, we all had to overcome certain "conflicts" or hurdles as we learned new skills and developed relationships with others. No one gets through all five stages without having trouble with at least one of them. And it's this unresolved "trouble" that Freud encouraged people to travel back to, recognize, and overcome.


- Your most positive energy is flowing from your Fifth Chakra

This is the chakra located at the top of your throat. The fifth chakra represents honesty and truth. In your case, this chakra appears to be clear and unblocked so that positive energy can flow from it freely. Radiating positive energy from your fifth chakra indicates that you've cultivated higher wisdom concerning the important life lessons associated with this energy center. You're apt to feel a more burning need than others do to speak the truth, treat people with respect, and act with integrity. Possessing strong fifth chakra energy also suggests that you're not one to fight your life's natural path. Instead, you seem to align your will with divine will.

I went to KFC the other day for lunch and just before I left, the girl at the counter says ‘Eat in or take away?’ so I considered this question like I would any other.

Yes, I do want to eat here, but I also prefer the box that you get when you ask for take away and I wanted the plastic bag so that I can have somewhere discreet to chuck all the bones away.

So I said ‘Take away’, which is basically a lie, really, but was necessary in order for me to get what I want. If she really didn’t want me to lie, she should’ve just asked ‘Would you like a plastic bag with that?’ or simply ‘Would you like that bagged?’ because that is, after all, what she’s essentially asking anyway. It’s more convenient to be straight with people.

For example, if you had a feral greenie type eat at KFC, he might want to take the food away but he probably wouldn’t want the plastic bag since plastic bags destroys the Earth or the Universe or something. So then he’d either have to lie like I did or explain why he just wants to carry the chicken in only the cardboard box, which takes a lot less time to biodegrade than plastic would.

Of course, this feral greenie type probably wouldn’t be eating at KFC in the first place since KFC is a big capitalistic corporation entity thing that uses under-aged slave labour to cook the chicken and is probably associated to or with some other corporation entity thing that knows someone that’s also destroying the Earth or the Universe or something. They just wouldn’t go there.

Which is precisely my point.

I've been added to Ricebowl Journals!

Dunno why I have to have that big Indonesian flag on my Ricebowl page though. I've migrated! Oh yeah, forgot. I guess it's some Asian pride thing... right.