Working at work

My IN tray is empty so I have little to do.

How much work I have to do is dictated by how full my IN tray is.

Currently it is empty.

I’ve mentioned that already, haven’t I?

*

The Academic department next door have hired a bunch of these Law students that do their research for them. And they’re all Asians. There aren’t that many Asians in this company overall so I’m wondering how this came about. I’m thinking maybe they got some package deal down in Chinatown. I’m also thinking maybe I’m just talking out of my arse again.

And there’s something about Asians meeting Asians.

The instant familiarity.

We had cake the other day and these new Asians met everybody on our team. But who did they instantly speak to? That’s right. Me.

And one of the guys – I think his name is Tim but I could be wrong – whenever he sees me walking around Westfield’s at lunch, he’ll raise and hand and say:

‘Yo. Wassup.’

*

The toilet no longer reminds me of Fanta. But on the way there from my desk, I pass by the desk of this tall leggy pretty blonde who, I think, works in finance. She made a real splash at the Christmas party with everyone for being, well, tall, leggy, pretty and blonde. She was wearing a white Marilyn-style dress. She’s new too apparently.

She’s friendly so of I pass by her, she’ll say hi usually. But if I go to the toilet too often, she’ll probably be thinking one of the following:

A. I have a weak bladder.
B. I have serious rectal issues that may be best dealt by consultation with a physician.
C. I have serious masturbatory issues that may be best dealt by consultation with a psychiatrist.

None of those would paint a particularly attractive picture of me. Worse still because the real reason would be that I’m just a pervert.