Make way for the Pig Bearer

The little brother likes me. He keeps trying to bash me up with a balloon and the sisters insist that it’s a sign of affection. The dad and uncle once threatened me off their front lawn with power tools in their hands. Today, they seem to like me too. The other brother, the groom, is nice to me as well. When I came to their house, he got karaoke started. That’s a sure way to my heart.

At times it felt like I was at a wedding that I wasn’t supposed to be at. Having to wake up at 5:15am and not understanding a word being said during the entire ceremony heightens that effect. Not really knowing the groom and having the bride forget who I was didn’t really help either. But I was glad to be there and I was glad to help. These dead roasted pigs don’t carry themselves, it seems.

This was my first ever Viet wedding. Perhaps if I continue with my little Viet fetish I can aspire towards having one for my own wedding. Perhaps not.

We arrived at the bride’s house, a troupe of tiny girls in pastel coloured see-thru dresses that split at the waist and bearing gifts for the bride’s family, followed by me, Yui and a pig in a box.

We weren’t wearing pastel coloured see-thru dresses that split at the waist. We were wearing regular suits.

I look smashing in a suit by the way. In case you were wondering.

I haven’t had a more interesting and fun Saturday morning in a long while. A delicious roast pig, an eye-opening look at a foreign culture, the company of a friendly family and friends, playing with little kids to keep them quiet during the speeches, being accidentally groped by a little girl (no I didn’t enjoy it you sick bastards!), a very cute bridesmaid (consensus 7/8 on the R scale – unfortunately she didn’t grope me) and other assorted sights and sounds.

Thank you for inviting me to be a part of this special occasion and asking me to help out.

It was my pleasure.

__________

After I exercised my compulsory right to vote, I went along to the second wedding of the day. Although I was far more involved with this wedding and much closer to the couple, I won’t write so much about it (for several reasons).

But I just want to say congratulations to the both of you. I want to say that it was a wonderful service. A nice reception. And I want to thank you so very much for the kind words.

Catherine and Mitchell, you’re possibly the best-looking wedding couple I’ve ever seen. You two were glowing in each other’s company.

You allow me the privilege to still believe in love.