Sleepwalker and me

He comes back to me from the dead in these times.

On trains. In cars. Walking down the streets of Chatswood on a late afternoon.

Welcome back.

It's good to be back.

So tell me something.

Love is like an apple. You can pick it up and eat it and it tastes pretty good. Especially the red ones. I'm not so fond of the green ones.

What are you on about?

Nothing. It's late. I'm tired.

Tired?

I'm sleepwalking. It's what I do.

So where have you been in all this time?

Well, after I last left you, I travelled down the allegorical highway. Mostly I walked but ocassionally I hitched rides from passing thought vehicles. Along the...

Where were you going?

... as I was saying...

Sorry.

... yes, well, along the way I met a bird and she told me to look for the wise man. She told me that he can give me all the answers I need.

To what questions?

Um... I dunno. Anything I suppose.

Can you ask him what I should have for lunch tomorrow?

No I can't. I'm not seeing him again. This was in the past. You asked me where I had been.

Oh. I see.

Apparently not.

No need to be rude!

Anyway, so I asked the bird where I could find him. And she showed me the way. Past the twin peaks that look like lopsided breasts and over the hill that looks like... um... well, a big rock. And then you will find a mountain. On top of this mountain is a small cave and in this cave is where you can find the old wise man.

You never mentioned he was old.

They're all old.

Who are?

Wise men! Anyway... so I contemplated the idea of finding a wise man who could give me the answers to anything but the twin peaks that looked like lopsided breasts looked far away and the hill was covered with jagged rocks and the mountain was too high and too mighty for a mere figment to conquer. So I said 'Nah, it's too hard. I wouldn't be able to get there'. And she said 'That's OK. I can fly you to him'. And so I said alright and then I climbed onto her back (in a non-sexual manner - this isn't that type of a story) and she flew me past the twin peaks that looked like lopsided breasts and over the hill that looked like a big rock and up the mountain and then she let me off in front of the cave. You have to go in yourself, she said. And so I did. And I looked back to wave and thank the bird and then I was inside and the old wise man was sitting in front of me on a cushion of whispers.

Is this story going to take much longer?

And so I asked him if he was the wise man and he said yes. And then I asked him if he was so wise, then does he know the meaning of life and he said yes. And I said wow, cool!

So?

What?

What's the meaning of life?

I dunno. I didn't ask.

Why not?

I don't care. I'm a figment.

So that's your story?

That's my story.

That story sucks!

You suck more!

I'm not talking to you anymore.