Thursday, May 27, 2004

How are you?

Nothing feels good anymore. I can hide it. I can forget things for periods of time but at the end of the day, my life sucks and for once I actually mean that. Well not to any suicidal degree but it's just very extremely not-very-good at the moment.

My way to deal with things has been to keep myself busy. Keep myself distracted. But I can only do so much. I can only bother my friends so much. I'm also trying to bother near-strangers but I'm sure they're gonna be rolling up the welcome mat real soon.

Some have told me that trying to avoiding the issues is bad. But I beg to differ. Facing them is worse. Wallowing in my sorrows is worse. Listening to sad love songs is worse.

The thing is, things were already crap before this. This was just the snot-flavoured icing on the manure cake I never wanted to eat. In an already near-empty night sky, my one shining star burnt out and left me in the dark. And so now I am miserable. Or something like it.

But I guess I can also be a little mature here and understand that I need to take the bad with the good. I recognise that before this bad patch, I got a lot of good too. Sometimes things just fall onto your lap. Other times they walk out of your lap.

How am I?

Oh yeah, I'm having a ball.

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