Friday morning fun
Today I was reminded of a poem that I found absolutely hilarious the first time I read it in Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions. I’ve also posted it on this blog before. I just can’t be bothered looking for it in my archives right now.
It goes like this:
Roses are red
And ready for plucking
You’re sixteen
And ready for high school
So I passed it around to a few people and some of their reactions to it I found just as amusing as the poem itself.
They went something like this:
It’s funnier if the last word was something else that rhymes with ‘plucking’
It reminds of an episode of the Late Show where they had a fake Arnie talking about his movie, Twins.
He says something like this:
Danny de Vito is great but I think it would’ve been funnier if they found someone who looked more like me
Well, here someone has actually gone through the trouble of explaining why the poem is funny.
I've amused myself enough. I’m gonna go eat now.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
They must have been celebrating down Habib’s way last night.
Free chickens for all!
Casey Donovan wins Australian Idol.
Has Bankstown ever been so proud?
So now Australia has an overweight 16-year-old starlet. This would be just too easy. But I can’t muster up the enthusiasm to write too much about it at the moment.
She’s nice. She’s humble. So I can’t dislike her like I do Courtney. But she’s also boring. So I can’t like her enough to care. Anthony’s probably thinking the same too. He wouldn’t be too concerned about losing given that Shannon is doing well enough. But after they made the announcement that Casey had won, Anthony had this smile on his face that tried to look like ‘I’m so happy for you, Casey’ but ended up looking more like ‘I can’t believe they picked the fat girl over me. This is year 7 basketball all over again!’
Speaking of fat idols, Ally gave me a card and got it signed by Courtney Murphy! Thanks Ally! That was one of the best presents I’ve gotten in ages! It just works on so many levels! If he knew the kind of stuff I’ve been writing about him…
On a side note, I told a friend about the Courtney signing and they said ‘Were there any food stains on it?’
Still on music, Gavin DeGraw’s concert at the Metro on Thursday night was fantastic. Judging him solely on his album might lead you to think that he’s middle of the road. Allow him some creative space on the stage, however, and the man really shines. He’s a natural showman. His album is so so, but should he come to Sydney again, be sure to catch his concert. Some musical acts were just meant to be heard live. For me, Ben Folds, Ben Kweller, Jason Mraz, and now Gavin DeGraw, are the ones I’ve heard whose studio recordings just do not do their music any justice.
Yesterday I went to see the Starlight Cup tennis. My brother is a Qantas employee so he got us free tickets. While the intentions are obviously good, it was an incredibly poorly-run event. Firstly, was it ever advertised anywhere? A good third of the people there were the yellow-shirt volunteers and if each of them gets at least two complimentary tickets, it probably means very few (if any) paid to get in at all. The event itself was a collection of B+ grade celebrities matched up with over-the-hill or never-quite-got-on-the-hill tennis stars. Watching Grant Hackett play was cringe-worthy. On the other hand, All Saints’ Ben Tari was trying way too hard. Sure he’s a pretty decent player but he was matched with a tennis legend who is over 40 years (yes, 40) past his prime (Ken Rosewall) and playing against an SBS newsreader and a 16-year-old. And it’s a friggin’ charity game with a 25% capacity audience. Take it easy!
The highlights were Adam Spencer’s play-calling and Glenn Robbins on the court. As were Matty Johns and Powderfinger’s Darren Middleton in the dunk tank. Middleton also possesses a good serve.
What a boring blog entry this turned out to be.
Free chickens for all!
Casey Donovan wins Australian Idol.
Has Bankstown ever been so proud?
So now Australia has an overweight 16-year-old starlet. This would be just too easy. But I can’t muster up the enthusiasm to write too much about it at the moment.
She’s nice. She’s humble. So I can’t dislike her like I do Courtney. But she’s also boring. So I can’t like her enough to care. Anthony’s probably thinking the same too. He wouldn’t be too concerned about losing given that Shannon is doing well enough. But after they made the announcement that Casey had won, Anthony had this smile on his face that tried to look like ‘I’m so happy for you, Casey’ but ended up looking more like ‘I can’t believe they picked the fat girl over me. This is year 7 basketball all over again!’
Speaking of fat idols, Ally gave me a card and got it signed by Courtney Murphy! Thanks Ally! That was one of the best presents I’ve gotten in ages! It just works on so many levels! If he knew the kind of stuff I’ve been writing about him…
On a side note, I told a friend about the Courtney signing and they said ‘Were there any food stains on it?’
Still on music, Gavin DeGraw’s concert at the Metro on Thursday night was fantastic. Judging him solely on his album might lead you to think that he’s middle of the road. Allow him some creative space on the stage, however, and the man really shines. He’s a natural showman. His album is so so, but should he come to Sydney again, be sure to catch his concert. Some musical acts were just meant to be heard live. For me, Ben Folds, Ben Kweller, Jason Mraz, and now Gavin DeGraw, are the ones I’ve heard whose studio recordings just do not do their music any justice.
Yesterday I went to see the Starlight Cup tennis. My brother is a Qantas employee so he got us free tickets. While the intentions are obviously good, it was an incredibly poorly-run event. Firstly, was it ever advertised anywhere? A good third of the people there were the yellow-shirt volunteers and if each of them gets at least two complimentary tickets, it probably means very few (if any) paid to get in at all. The event itself was a collection of B+ grade celebrities matched up with over-the-hill or never-quite-got-on-the-hill tennis stars. Watching Grant Hackett play was cringe-worthy. On the other hand, All Saints’ Ben Tari was trying way too hard. Sure he’s a pretty decent player but he was matched with a tennis legend who is over 40 years (yes, 40) past his prime (Ken Rosewall) and playing against an SBS newsreader and a 16-year-old. And it’s a friggin’ charity game with a 25% capacity audience. Take it easy!
The highlights were Adam Spencer’s play-calling and Glenn Robbins on the court. As were Matty Johns and Powderfinger’s Darren Middleton in the dunk tank. Middleton also possesses a good serve.
What a boring blog entry this turned out to be.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Servants of the Light finish last
I’ve been told before that I’m too nice. I’ve been often reminded too that such niceness may lead to a life-long streak of last-place finishes.
I was playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic a few weeks ago for the second time.
Now, for those of you that don’t know, this game allows you to choose your path between being good (the Light) and being evil (the Dark Side).
The first time I played through the game, I was being good. So I said all the nice things. Killed only the bad guys and even went out of my way to help out a Twi’lek or two.
Logic, then, would suggest that when I play it a second time, I would be evil. So that I may know how it ends if I choose the path of the Dark Side.
But…
I just couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t just strike down innocent characters for money. I couldn’t look at a good natured, albeit cautious, Wookie in his polygonal eyes and tell him that he’s annoying and should just piss off.
Sure I got angry a couple of times, like when that woman tried to rip me off for the droid. I showed her that Jedis aren’t pushovers!
I realise it’s just a game. And that all the characters aren’t real. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be evil. I was just too nice.
How pathetic.
Eventually I did end up seeing the ending of the game as a bad guy. But only after I had finished the game the second time as a good guy. I loaded up the game near the very end and just did a really quick change of heart towards the evil side. Even that was hard. When I had to kill off the damn Wookie and his teenaged Twi’lek sidekick, I was thinking, ‘this can’t be worth it. This just isn’t worth it!’ …
I’ve been told before that I’m too nice. I’ve been often reminded too that such niceness may lead to a life-long streak of last-place finishes.
I was playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic a few weeks ago for the second time.
Now, for those of you that don’t know, this game allows you to choose your path between being good (the Light) and being evil (the Dark Side).
The first time I played through the game, I was being good. So I said all the nice things. Killed only the bad guys and even went out of my way to help out a Twi’lek or two.
Logic, then, would suggest that when I play it a second time, I would be evil. So that I may know how it ends if I choose the path of the Dark Side.
But…
I just couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t just strike down innocent characters for money. I couldn’t look at a good natured, albeit cautious, Wookie in his polygonal eyes and tell him that he’s annoying and should just piss off.
Sure I got angry a couple of times, like when that woman tried to rip me off for the droid. I showed her that Jedis aren’t pushovers!
I realise it’s just a game. And that all the characters aren’t real. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be evil. I was just too nice.
How pathetic.
Eventually I did end up seeing the ending of the game as a bad guy. But only after I had finished the game the second time as a good guy. I loaded up the game near the very end and just did a really quick change of heart towards the evil side. Even that was hard. When I had to kill off the damn Wookie and his teenaged Twi’lek sidekick, I was thinking, ‘this can’t be worth it. This just isn’t worth it!’ …
Thursday, November 11, 2004
The good
It’s been good the past week. I’m happy. I’ve been recalled to life. I’m finally leaving ye old Marrickville. It feels like I’ve just been released from prison. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
It had gotten to the point where I’ve been dreading every single morning and every single Sunday night.
And in three weeks, I’ll be free of that negativity.
I really needed this.
Thank you.
The bad
No matter how much I loathe my current work, I have to say that I was dreading having ‘the talk’ with my boss. He can be a nasty piece of work at times but to me he’s usually been pretty good and I have a lot to be grateful about with him.
He took things well though. The last time someone quit work here, she came out of his office crying. This was amicable. He wished me well.
I’m happy with that.
and The ugly
Not work-related but I need to say this. Out with the bad air, in with the good air, I say.
Now I’ve always been an advocate of self-assuredness. Self-confidence. Even a little bit of cockiness and arrogance. But there is such a thing as taking things over the line, so to speak.
I thought I was quite self-absorbed. But I think now there’s someone who kicks my proverbial arse in this department. Delusions of grandeur, overestimated sense of self-importance, the whole lot.
At first it was endearing, then it became annoying, eventually it became laughable and now, I think, it’s just cringe-worthy. Maybe even a little sad. It’s like watching Jane Fonda act like she’s still appealing to men my age. You wanna ridicule her but you just end up feeling sorry for her.
It’s been good the past week. I’m happy. I’ve been recalled to life. I’m finally leaving ye old Marrickville. It feels like I’ve just been released from prison. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
It had gotten to the point where I’ve been dreading every single morning and every single Sunday night.
And in three weeks, I’ll be free of that negativity.
I really needed this.
Thank you.
The bad
No matter how much I loathe my current work, I have to say that I was dreading having ‘the talk’ with my boss. He can be a nasty piece of work at times but to me he’s usually been pretty good and I have a lot to be grateful about with him.
He took things well though. The last time someone quit work here, she came out of his office crying. This was amicable. He wished me well.
I’m happy with that.
and The ugly
Not work-related but I need to say this. Out with the bad air, in with the good air, I say.
Now I’ve always been an advocate of self-assuredness. Self-confidence. Even a little bit of cockiness and arrogance. But there is such a thing as taking things over the line, so to speak.
I thought I was quite self-absorbed. But I think now there’s someone who kicks my proverbial arse in this department. Delusions of grandeur, overestimated sense of self-importance, the whole lot.
At first it was endearing, then it became annoying, eventually it became laughable and now, I think, it’s just cringe-worthy. Maybe even a little sad. It’s like watching Jane Fonda act like she’s still appealing to men my age. You wanna ridicule her but you just end up feeling sorry for her.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Monday, November 08, 2004
Will you still respect me in the morning?
Walking home at 6:30 am, I feel like Death’s younger brother. It’s a struggle just to keep my eyes open and my balance. I feel sick but I can’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the nuggets. I wish the sun would go back down.
On the train, I am draped over my seat over seven or eight stops. A few seats away, a Chinese guy picking his nose is shouting at another Chinese guy, not picking his nose. A third guy is asleep. Just like I want to be. Behind me a girl has an iPod connected to her head. She too is asleep and, surely, is gonna miss her stop. From where I am, she looks rather cute. But then, in my current condition, if the Chinese guy picking his nose had worn a dress, I might think he was cute too.
I push myself against walls in a ten-minute stumble to my door. Once inside, I swallow three straight glasses of water, strip down and lay on my bed like a fish gutted five ways. Head pounding. Ears ringing like an alarm bell. I would be smiling if I could.
Extracting out of the anus
What started out as a logistical nightmare turned out to be a pretty smooth ride on the night. Two double-bookings and the fear of having to run away to Thailand to dodge a potentially unreachable bar tab had me nervous at the start of the night. Nothing gets me worried more than the voice of someone I’ve never met telling me over the phone that I have nothing to worry about. We pulled this one out. I’m glad we didn’t go the ‘safe’ route.
Cone of silence
As they say, what happens at the party stays at the party. Until the incriminating photographs surface. I realise I was exercising about as much restraint as a rabid baboon out of its cage. But, as that annoying catch phrase goes, ‘it’s all good’. And speaking of cages… actually let’s not. I just hope you all had as much fun as I did.
I be thanking youse
Stephen, Lillian, Addy, thanks for everything. Calling around, organising… and that photoshoot. That was just as much fun as the party itself! Addy, you’re a good sport for agreeing to pose for that pic. But let’s just say you might want to continue being nice to me or some of those outtakes might just accidentally fall into the wrong hands… oh and you all owe me $25 now.
Jimmy and friends (Mark and Dave and their groupie), you’re the best! Much appreciated. You guys did good! I just hope you were as happy with the night as I was, James!
Mike and the Jackson’s people, I guess we wouldn’t have had a place without you guys.
Everyone who got me drinks.
Everyone who came.
Ha, for the lift offers.
Matt, Milli, Shuai, Lil for staying back so late and doing nuggets with us.
Yui and Quang, for sticking around right til the end. Thank you boys.
If I have forgotten anyone, I’ll add them to the comments, should I remember or be reminded at a later time.
No thanks to... oh that's right, I'm in a good mood.
Walking home at 6:30 am, I feel like Death’s younger brother. It’s a struggle just to keep my eyes open and my balance. I feel sick but I can’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the nuggets. I wish the sun would go back down.
On the train, I am draped over my seat over seven or eight stops. A few seats away, a Chinese guy picking his nose is shouting at another Chinese guy, not picking his nose. A third guy is asleep. Just like I want to be. Behind me a girl has an iPod connected to her head. She too is asleep and, surely, is gonna miss her stop. From where I am, she looks rather cute. But then, in my current condition, if the Chinese guy picking his nose had worn a dress, I might think he was cute too.
I push myself against walls in a ten-minute stumble to my door. Once inside, I swallow three straight glasses of water, strip down and lay on my bed like a fish gutted five ways. Head pounding. Ears ringing like an alarm bell. I would be smiling if I could.
Extracting out of the anus
What started out as a logistical nightmare turned out to be a pretty smooth ride on the night. Two double-bookings and the fear of having to run away to Thailand to dodge a potentially unreachable bar tab had me nervous at the start of the night. Nothing gets me worried more than the voice of someone I’ve never met telling me over the phone that I have nothing to worry about. We pulled this one out. I’m glad we didn’t go the ‘safe’ route.
Cone of silence
As they say, what happens at the party stays at the party. Until the incriminating photographs surface. I realise I was exercising about as much restraint as a rabid baboon out of its cage. But, as that annoying catch phrase goes, ‘it’s all good’. And speaking of cages… actually let’s not. I just hope you all had as much fun as I did.
I be thanking youse
Stephen, Lillian, Addy, thanks for everything. Calling around, organising… and that photoshoot. That was just as much fun as the party itself! Addy, you’re a good sport for agreeing to pose for that pic. But let’s just say you might want to continue being nice to me or some of those outtakes might just accidentally fall into the wrong hands… oh and you all owe me $25 now.
Jimmy and friends (Mark and Dave and their groupie), you’re the best! Much appreciated. You guys did good! I just hope you were as happy with the night as I was, James!
Mike and the Jackson’s people, I guess we wouldn’t have had a place without you guys.
Everyone who got me drinks.
Everyone who came.
Ha, for the lift offers.
Matt, Milli, Shuai, Lil for staying back so late and doing nuggets with us.
Yui and Quang, for sticking around right til the end. Thank you boys.
If I have forgotten anyone, I’ll add them to the comments, should I remember or be reminded at a later time.
No thanks to... oh that's right, I'm in a good mood.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Not Another Asian Dance Party Pimpin'
I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to pimping my party in blog form but it looks like my friend Matt has kindly done that for me on his blog so I'll just have to pimp his.
With the short notice, this is probably a good idea anyway.
Details
Saturday 6 November
9:30 til late
Jackson's on George
FREE entry before 12
I hope this will turn out good. Cos I'm sure not having much fun right now...
Oh and Johnny, if you're still reading my blog, what's happened to Clarence Street? I don't have your email anymore. Email me sometime! Or come on Saturday!
I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to pimping my party in blog form but it looks like my friend Matt has kindly done that for me on his blog so I'll just have to pimp his.
With the short notice, this is probably a good idea anyway.
Details
Saturday 6 November
9:30 til late
Jackson's on George
FREE entry before 12
I hope this will turn out good. Cos I'm sure not having much fun right now...
Oh and Johnny, if you're still reading my blog, what's happened to Clarence Street? I don't have your email anymore. Email me sometime! Or come on Saturday!
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