Will you still respect me in the morning?

Walking home at 6:30 am, I feel like Death’s younger brother. It’s a struggle just to keep my eyes open and my balance. I feel sick but I can’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the nuggets. I wish the sun would go back down.

On the train, I am draped over my seat over seven or eight stops. A few seats away, a Chinese guy picking his nose is shouting at another Chinese guy, not picking his nose. A third guy is asleep. Just like I want to be. Behind me a girl has an iPod connected to her head. She too is asleep and, surely, is gonna miss her stop. From where I am, she looks rather cute. But then, in my current condition, if the Chinese guy picking his nose had worn a dress, I might think he was cute too.

I push myself against walls in a ten-minute stumble to my door. Once inside, I swallow three straight glasses of water, strip down and lay on my bed like a fish gutted five ways. Head pounding. Ears ringing like an alarm bell. I would be smiling if I could.

Extracting out of the anus

What started out as a logistical nightmare turned out to be a pretty smooth ride on the night. Two double-bookings and the fear of having to run away to Thailand to dodge a potentially unreachable bar tab had me nervous at the start of the night. Nothing gets me worried more than the voice of someone I’ve never met telling me over the phone that I have nothing to worry about. We pulled this one out. I’m glad we didn’t go the ‘safe’ route.

Cone of silence

As they say, what happens at the party stays at the party. Until the incriminating photographs surface. I realise I was exercising about as much restraint as a rabid baboon out of its cage. But, as that annoying catch phrase goes, ‘it’s all good’. And speaking of cages… actually let’s not. I just hope you all had as much fun as I did.

I be thanking youse

Stephen, Lillian, Addy, thanks for everything. Calling around, organising… and that photoshoot. That was just as much fun as the party itself! Addy, you’re a good sport for agreeing to pose for that pic. But let’s just say you might want to continue being nice to me or some of those outtakes might just accidentally fall into the wrong hands… oh and you all owe me $25 now.

Jimmy and friends (Mark and Dave and their groupie), you’re the best! Much appreciated. You guys did good! I just hope you were as happy with the night as I was, James!

Mike and the Jackson’s people, I guess we wouldn’t have had a place without you guys.

Everyone who got me drinks.

Everyone who came.

Ha, for the lift offers.

Matt, Milli, Shuai, Lil for staying back so late and doing nuggets with us.

Yui and Quang, for sticking around right til the end. Thank you boys.

If I have forgotten anyone, I’ll add them to the comments, should I remember or be reminded at a later time.

No thanks to... oh that's right, I'm in a good mood.