Just some stuff

Tonight I reconnected with my love for raw cabbage. As I was chopping up cabbage to make my noodles for lunch tomorrow, I started munching on it raw. And as I write this entry, I’m thinking ‘does anyone really want to hear about my love for raw cabbage?’

I decided to make the most of the noodles that my sister bought, which were the wrong ones. (Tip: never buy noodles with no Asian writing on the packaging) and make fried noodles for lunch. It’s turned out OK, actually.

I got home Friday night and was not drunk for once. But I had to drive and I was coughing every five seconds so I didn’t wanna stay out. At 2am Saturday morning, I started to write a song for her and finished up around 3am. Now I just have to find a time and place to sing it for her. Admittedly, it sounded a lot worse when I woke up and played it again than when I was playing it at 3am. But still… it’s doable. Dorky. But doable. Kinda. Maybe I should drink before I play it.

I wrote a few haiku last week and was gonna post them but then pulled them off. There’s something very eerie about haiku. It feels incomplete in its completeness. I think of them as the David Lynch of poetry. I’m very rarely disturbed by my own writing. But I was with these. I’ve written them before but these ones felt like they were written by someone mentally unstable.

A lot of my friends now seem very negative. They’re all disillusioned with life. With love. etc. I’m trying to feed them with positivity. But I think I seem to be depressing them even further. Must be in the delivery. It’s sad to see one of my friends lose faith in there being ‘the one’ for her. She says she no longer believes in it. It must be very jarring to have to let go of something like that and have a paradigm shift. Personally, I’ve never placed so much faith in anything that specific (God is for another discussion). I have a general ‘it’s all gonna work out for the best’ kinda stuff. But I don’t think I ever believed that there is the one person for me in this world. I think mysticism only works when you’re blind to it. It’s like a surprise. You can’t be surprised if you’re looking for it. Personally I’d like to place more power into my own hands. In case that whole fate thing doesn’t take care of me. And if my efforts are futile, I’ll still always be none the wiser.

I once wrote a play that has yet to be produced. In some ways, I feel like I pre-empted a lot of the issues that my friends and I are going though now. Not that we didn’t go through them then (I wrote it about 3 years ago). But it makes more sense even to myself now. That’s strange.

Amali, you put bad, inappropriate thoughts into my head... *shakes head*