Tuesday, September 21, 2004

xtn's How-to-Vote card

Australia is a country of morons.

In a span of two short weeks, Australian voters have culled the two most attractive Idol contestants out of the competition. It might be OK if they were really untalented singers but they’re not even the worst singers of the bunch. I put it down to two factors.

1. People think the good looking ones are ‘safe’. They have other voters to keep them in the competition so ‘I don’t need to vote for them.’
2. Guilt. Week in, week out, the audience is told to base their votes on talent. Voters who may otherwise have voted for the good looking ones are now feeling guilty for their votes.

Let’s be honest here. Australian Idol isn’t trying to find the most talented singer. It’s trying to find whoever will sell the most records. Voters should be told this every week.

Don’t vote for most talented. Vote for whoever is most likely to release CDs that you would want to buy.

Why do you think Shannon Noll is outselling Guy Sebastian when Guy reportedly won by a landslide in the final episode?

Have you ever heard Avril Lavigne sing live? She’s absolutely horrendous, yet she’s selling in the millions.

Musical acts aren’t just good singers. They’re entertainment packages. It annoys me that so many people out there are naïve or self-righteous enough to believe that image doesn’t matter.

I’m not saying that Paul Walker lookalike Dan O’Connor and Idol Lolita Amali Ward should be the final two but they should have lasted longer than this. They’re better than this.

Here’s my take on the final 9 as they’ve been performing so far.

Frontrunners
Ricki-Lee: Fun, sexy, utterly engaging. Has been getting the best crowd reactions thus far.
Anthony: Prototypical boy band look and has a fantastic voice when he’s not trying too hard. His drawbacks are his height and a tendency to perform like it’s a local karaoke comp.

Second-tier
Courtney: Great voice, but let’s be honest. How many overweight popstars who sing over-the-hill songs do you know of? I can’t think of any. And for every one you can think of, I’ll name you ten non-overweight ones. Courtney will probably go far but his viability as a recording artist is questionable at best.
Chanel: Not a conventional popstar but she’s foxy and has a unique voice.
Daniel: Best voice in the competition for me but he needs to lighten up, shed a bit of weight and probably should stick to auditioning for musical theatre.

Baseline
Casey: Same deal as Courtney but probably worse. Overweight Caucasian female teen popstars don’t exist as far as I know. Flynn could probably outsell her at the moment.
Emelia: Probably the worst of who’s left, performance-wise. But she is improving every week and her constant crying and single-mum woes wins votes. She’s likable but not realistic.

Bottom feeders
Haley: Has somehow survived the last two weeks. Surely she has to be out next week. She’s, at best, lining up to be the next Amity Dry. You know, the one from the Block.
Marty: It pains me to say this but Marty will last a maximum of two more episodes unless he lifts his game. He’s probably my favourite singer left in the competition but he’s been all dud so far in the final 12. Talent-wise and image-wise, he could be a frontrunner. His rendition of Somewhere only we know had me thinking he could be the next Shannon Noll. But he’s got to pick more suitable songs and tone down his quirks.

Did anyone even bother reading this far?

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